'My husband wants to start a "restaurant for magicians"': Woman tries to convince husband not to sink money into his new restaurant idea

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    My (32F) husband (36M) wants to start a 'restaurant for magicians', and it is tearing our family apart
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    I've been with my partner for 8 years, we have a 4 year old son and 2 year old daughter. Our relationship has been a little rocky, partly due to his highly demanding job in the restaurant industry, but we love each other deeply, and always will. He has been the head chef of a relatively successful restaurant for 3 years now, and is the only source of income for our family, since I left my job in the charity sector to look after our children.
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    For the past 4 or so months he has been floating the idea of starting a 'restaurant for magicians', with increasing seriousness and dedication. It is not obvious what this entails, so I ought to explain. He envisions a restaurant which, unbeknownst to the general public, is littered with magical props: levitating tables, bending cutlery, and torn-and-restored menus, to name a few. The meals served to customers can be requested to have particular playing cards secreted inside, to allow for specta
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    I'm going to reserve my commentary on the merit of this idea until later (I imagine you can guess), but I should explain that my husband has never shown a remote interest in magic until around 4 months ago, when he met his friend, who in this post we will call Chris. Chris is something of a magic enthusiast, and since meeting him my husband has become encapsulated by this idea (I am using this throwaway account because Chris is an avid Reddit user). Over the past two weeks Chris has conviced my
  • 05
    During this fight my husband argued that he ought to be allowed to follow his dreams, and that his idea is good because 'Chris came up with it and Chris is a magician and magicians are smart'. This honestly does not seem like the man I fell in love with, who was creative but also pragmatic and level-headed. His fixation on Chris seems to have massively clouded his judgement, and I don't believe it is possible to rely on this 'restaurant for magicians' idea to feed our family of four.
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    How can I convince my husband that this idea is bad without hurting him or damaging our relationship? He is incredibly sensitive about it, and would seemingly jump through 1000 hoops to come to the defence of Chris, a person he DID NOT KNOW just 4 months ago.
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    TL;DR My husband's bizarre idea for a restaurant is going to leave our family without financial support, how can I convince him of this?
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    Ruthless_Bunny I have an IDEA! Why not do it as a pop-up as a proof of concept? He and Chris can source a place, rent the tables and find the talent. Do a dinner for 10-20 at most. Charge a flat rate for Prix Fixe and see what the response is.
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    Do it once a month if the first one covers expenses. Chances are they'll come to blows before opening, and your husband will ditch the idea.
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    [deleted] Wow, that is a bizarre idea, plus the cat will be out of the bag and the element of surprise will be gone, plus. it's a gimmick? I'd sit down with him, explain that Chris needs to come in with 50% of the financing if they are partner's and it can't reduce your household income.
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    GreatWhite NorthE... Opening a restaurant is a big endeavor. Is Chris actually putting his own money into this venture, or is he just the idea man? Because if Chris has no financial stake, then that fact could be a way to show your husband this might not be as great of an idea as he thinks. Apart from that, being married is really being a team and your
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    husband should want you onboard with such a huge risk. My suggestion is to tell you husband to convince you with a detailed plan: • What is the menu like? The food needs to be the draw, not the magic. The gimmick will wear off • Decor Staffing level • Which magic tricks?
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    • Details like storage for cakes with cards and cakes without cards. Duplicate items will mean more storage is required • Who is making the specialty magic foods? • How many magicians are required? Who will approve the amateur magicians?
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    • Money. How much will it cost to open? And how much are 9 months operating costs? Because you need all that money in the bank. It's not enough to just have enough money to open, chances are business will be slow for at least 6 months. And your family has expenses as well, money needs to
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    be put aside for that. I agree that this is not a great restaurant concept, but the trick is to get your husband to realize this on his own.
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    As an aside, maybe Chris should look at setting up a magician-for-hire-to-help- men-on-dates service. It seems to me that a better version is not a specific restaurant but instead a magician who can go help out at different locations.
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    callsignhotdog Sounds like Chris is manipulating your husband into paying for and then working in Chris' restaraunt. Step 1 - Take steps to secure your savings, make sure it's in a joint account that can't be accessed without both of your signatures. Make sure your husband can't decide it's better to ask forgiveness
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    than permission. Step 2 - Tell your husband you support him, but ask for specifics. Ask to see his business plan, ask to see his projections, market research, prospective locations. Get serious into the planning, and he'll either have to admit he's not serious about it, or be confronted with the reality of what he's proposing.
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    Step 3 - Tell your husband to try and get a business. loan for this project. Let the bank manager tell him what a ridiculous idea this is. Presto, you're no longer the bad guy.
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    adlittle It sounds an awful lot like his friend is some sort of confidence trickster.
  • 21
    slugwurth Chris: "Now watch, as I make all your family's savings...disappear!"

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